Applying emotional intelligence in the workplace

Confidence

28 Mar 2019

Looks good doesn’t it; when you see confidence in yourself or in others.

For those of us that struggle to maintain self-confidence it can feel like something we can’t quite get to grips with.
The good news is, confidence can be learned (and whilst you are learning, faked). 
Whilst there is a myriad of tools and techniques to build confidence, these can sometimes feel like too long a list to get going.  I prefer to focus on one element to begin with, and a good place to start is modelling:
Modelling confidence – modelling is a technique of taking bits of other peoples’ attitudes and behaviours and making them your own, building up a little bit from lots of different people to get best of all approaches.
Begin by observing what others do to appear confident (remember, they may not be confident, they may only appear confident to others).  What one small thing could you take from them that would make you appear and feel more confident?  Follow these steps to get going.

  • 1.  Pick small things to model.  Don’t try to be like the other person.  You are you and that is great.  Just pick a small something that they seem to do to have an impact, and model that; small things like their tone of voice, the flow of their speech, the way they hold themselves, their dress, etc.  Copy it and practise it in small steps.
  • 2.  Use a range of people to model from.  Take bits from lots of people a bit like a magpie collecting treasure.  That way you will have the way Johnny uses hand gestures to emphasis important points and the way Mary pauses for effect when she is speaking.
  • 3.  Practise when it’s not important.  Don’t wait until a key meeting to put these bits together.  Play with them with friends and family or in lees important meetings to see how they feel for you, a bit like trying on a new clothes style until if feels comfortable.
  • 4.  Keep building.  Once you have picked up one new and useful trait, look for the next one.  You will soon find you are looking for and picking up useful traits from all over the place.

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